Blast from the Past

Isn't it funny how when things are going great, a blast from the past pops up and makes an unwanted appearance? On Sunday morning, James and I were in bed watching X Factor when I got this text from Kate, one of my best friend's from uni:

"Shit im going to forward you a text I just got, thought you should know x x x"

[Kate forwarded this]

"Hello, Kate? Just scrolling through my phone book & found your number. Just wonderrd if you still existed & if you're ok? So, who the hell is this? It's ... Derek X"

[Kate then sent this]

"It's such a bizarre text. Hope you don't mind me telling you, I didn't want to not tell you. Should I reply? x"

To say that this was completely unexpected and threw me would be an understatement. I couldn't even really process the information because I was with James. I must have looked so shocked because he snatched my mobile from me and read the texts. He just asked who Derek was. I told him and asked him whether or not I should tell Kate to reply. He said to tell Kate to just ignore the text. James being James didn't mention it again and seemed completely undisturbed by it. I did mention later that if the tables had been turned I would have been pretty pissed off and would have thought the ex was trying to weedle their way back in. James response to that was "It's a good thing I'm not you then".

While I was responding to Kate's text I was also conscious of the fact that she was in bed with Tom, who is one of James's best friends (James and I set the two of them up and they've really hit it off). This meant that any dramatic response from me would probably somehow be communicated to Tom which would in turn get back to James! Knowing Kate, she would have made a really big deal about the text which would get Tom wondering about why it was such an issue. This means a lot to me because I don't like the idea of Kate or Tom or anyone thinking Derek is still important to me because he isn't. I love James and I couldn't be happier with him.

At the same time, I would be lying if I said I hadn't given Derek's texts any more thought. I can't help but wonder what he is hoping to achieve. He will have known as well as he knows his own name that as soon as Kate received that text she would have forward it to me. A couple of weeks ago a friend from uni told me that he still occassionally speaks to Derek. Why Derek would want to maintain contact with him is beyond me. I don't know if I should be getting worried that something is about to kick off. My world is fine just as it is and I don't want anything to threaten that.

Aaargh! I thought I had left all this drama behind in my last blog???

Things You Don't Know

I love the idea of Post Secret. I'm addicted to the site and the fact that the poster must feel an immeasurable amount of freedom after sharing their secret with millions of people.

On the right-side of the page I have included a list of things you don't know about me. The plan is to elaborate on one or two of the points each week and then update the entire list.

"I wear hair extensions"

I can't help it. It's my achilles heel. I spend about £200 every 6 weeks on extensions. I like to think you can't tell because they are only a little longer than my real hair. I have them because I love thick, straight, fuss-free hair. I can colour them and generally mistreat them in a way I couldn't, wouldn't my own hair. I think they are the best thing invented since chemical straighteners. But, as we all know, nothing comes without some sort of price. The following are problems commonly encountered by those who wear extensions:

1. You jump a mile everytime someone goes to touch your hair because you don't want people feeling the extensions

2. Everytime you tell someone you wear extensions you have to put up with people lifting up your hair so they can see them (and in the process showing them to everyone in the vicinity)

3. You have to live with the knowledge that you could treat yourself to a weekend break in Paris/Venice/Barcelona, or a designer handbag/shoes, dinner at Claridges every 6 weeks with the money you spend at the hairdressers

4. You increasingly look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards as you get closer to the next hardresser's appointment

5. You can't help but sympathise with the likes of Jordan/Jade and their own special relationship with extensions.

6. A really strong gust of wind can reveal your secret to the whole world. As a result, you have enough hair grips, clips and alice bands to stock a salon.

When I was 10 I had a pink Secret Diary and to the question "What do you want to be when you grow up", I wrote "Lawyer/Prostitute"

Yes, I knew what a prostitute did. I liked boys and sex looked like fun on the TV - it seemed like the perfect profession! While I was immature (clearly) I was pretty sexually aware and couldn't wait to get started (it's a wonder I was a virgin until 17!) and Pretty Woman made it all seem fantastic. I blame it all on Pretty Woman for making me think that prostitutes were a bit like Cinderella with the exception that they got to go to fancy places and massive shopping sprees whilst they waited for their prince. The fact that I shouldn't have been watching Pretty Woman at 10 is obviously irrelevant.

Looking Back The Way We Had Come

When I started my old blog in April 2007, I had these visions of looking back in 5 years time at what I had written and re-living life at 21. It didn't occur to me that, in the same way I've never been able to keep one diary for more than a couple of years, I wouldn't be able to continue posting on a blog created by an infinitely younger, more annoying version of myself. So here I am, on blog #2.

Your author is 22, living at home with (brace yourself): one mother, two brothers, two sisters, one maybe-sometime-soon brother-in-law, two nieces and one nephew. Thank God no pets are allowed. Last year I split up with my then boyfriend of 4 years, fell apart then fell in love with a horribly unsuitable character whilst on the rebound, dated half of London using all available dating mediums and then met a boy called James with whom I will be travelling to Rome in about 5 weeks to celebrate the anniversary of our first date :). I think that counts as a backstory. It may not be as emotional as the ones frequently featured on X Factor (i'm sorry my wife didn't die whilst giving birth to our daughter, i'm sorry I know where the Bahamas are on a map and I'm sorry that Louis Walsh didn't reject me three years - an experience which would, of course, have made me 'stronger' and 'ready for this') but "I hope I've done enough". Alright, I'm a reluctant X Factor fan. I reckon the final 3 should be Austin "fit as f*ck" Drage, Diana Vickers and JLS. Laura (aka Laaaaaaara) is a bit wailey and Alexandra is a bit predictable. James and I have a Sunday morning X Factor Ritual that involves screaming at www.itv.co.uk to get with the programme and allow shows to stream properly and eventually giving up and just watching each performance (plus judge's comments of course) on YouTube. No, it's not sad at all!

You'll be pleased to know I'm blogging from work. I'm a corporate paralegal at a pretty sexy international law firm until May next year and will start my training contract at another law firm in September 2009. Those of you in the legal world will know full well what it means to finally get a TC. I would liken it to giving birth with the exception that your 'baby' allows you to charge your fees in 6 minute units and generally makes you money as opposed to bleeds you dry. The one downside of work though are the security settings and internet policies - no facebook (which I suppose isn't such a loss), ebay, YouTube ... If anyone had told me I wouldn't be able to faff about on the internet for 50% of my working day I don't know if I would have bothered with all the sleepless nights at uni and law school. The only 'fun' thing I can access is Rollonfriday but it's proving to be very good at distracting me from the work I'm paid to do.

p.s. I love the Transport for London Art on the Underground project. "Off to work 8:15am (Nylon Uniform)" is another of my favourite along with "Looking Back the Way We Had Come".

Link to the Old Blog

Ella's Story