I'm Not Gonna Lie

I only write when I can't sort through my thoughts. When shit goes round and round in my head and when having the same conversation a million times over doesn't get me any closer to an answer. When I've bored myself to death with indecision. I'll say sorry now to get it out of the way*. James. It's been 4 years and 6 months now. Fcuk me time flies. I love him. He loves me. But I'm bored of what we have become. There's no passion. We both agree that this is the case. We both agree that we don't want to break up because we love each other but we are both worried that actually there might be better out there for both us. We are both worried that if we "take a break" or just break up completely, meet someone else, think we did the right thing because the new relationship is exciting, new and full of passion but then 4 years down the line we find that actually it's no longer exciting, new and full of passion because this happens to all relationships but oh shucks we broke up with each other 4 years ago and what we had was actually pretty good but now it's too late. On the other hand, if we stay together we are worried that we would be settling. On the third hand, I'm worried that (like my friends think) there is no man on the planet who can live up to my expectations, I read way too many novels and I'm an idiot to even think about walking away from a guy like James. That is it in a nutshell. We've talked about taking a step back and moving out into our own places but that kind of just seems a halfway point to breaking up. Suggestions as to what to do on a postcard please. I said sorry right at the beginning. My entire thoughts are taken up by a boy and I have nothing better to do with myself. Guilty as charged.